“Divorce Let Us Believe Together”

Yes divorce violates Biblical scripture; we take vows to remain married till death due us part. There are many scripture in the old and New Testament that shows us that God is against divorce. This is not what I am writing about however. I was given a request by a dear friend, who is divorced and his wife has remarried. He has been unable to find forgiveness for her or himself. He asked me to speak to different pastors and find out answers to his questions. I found the best Pastor is God, himself, however since I told him I would, I did speak to three Godly Pastors. Below you will find the advice that we give, but all in Jesus name and His word.

First thing that touched me about this friend, is that he does love the Lord and has remained single and obedient. As the Lord tells us it is best to remain single and in Him than to be married with an ungodly spouse, or married at all. Does this mean that we can’t be forgiven and move on with the Lord in our life? No, because there are scripture that tells us so. You have to come to the place where you agree with God that your divorce was sin and are willing to repent of that sin. (If you married someone who was divorced, you must agree with God that that marriage was contrary to His Word—Matthew 5:32; 19:2; Mark 10:11, 12; Luke 16:18.)

Often a divorcee feels like a social outcast. The church seems more willing to forgive and accept drug addicts, thieves, liars, murderers, etc. than a divorcee. I believe the main reason for this is that the drug addict, thief, liar, or murderer is usually willing to acknowledge that what he has done is sin. On the other hand, I find that most people who are divorced continue to justify their divorce based on “innocence,” “circumstances,” (in my friends case, she left him) instead of agreeing with God that they have sinned and repenting. God cannot bless your disobedience, but He will bless a repentant and broken spirit (Psalm 51:17). Remember “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).

So it comes to the question “If this is true (that there are no biblical grounds for divorce or remarriage), then I'm condemned to spend the rest of my life guilty and unclean before God.” Or “Do you mean that God can never use me again?” “If this marriage was wrong, does that mean that I'll be living 'in sin' for the rest of my life?” Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (King James Version) 1When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. 3And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; 4Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

The answer to these questions is, “Of course not!” God is as able and willing to forgive the sin of divorce as He is any other sin. And when God forgives our sin, He does not hold it against us any longer. Rather, His goal is to restore us to greater usefulness for His glory. But His forgiving, restoring ministry is only available to those who are willing to deal with their sin His way.

There is no magic remedy for resolving past marital failures. But a few simple statements will help you to get started. . Agree with God about the failures in your life that contributed to the failure of your marriage. One of the basic needs in the life of a divorced person is to remove all guilt. The easiest way to deal with guilt is to balance it with blame (“He/She was equally wrong!”). But you will never experience the full cleansing and forgiveness of God until you are willing to stop blaming your mate and agree with God about your own needs.

True repentance involves humbly and honestly identifying your basic offenses against God and others. Ask God to have mercy on you, to forgive you for holding on to this hurt for so long. Allow God to use you, to help others who have the same concerns and issues that you have. It is important that you remember that Jesus died on the cross to forgive us our sins; he did not say I am dieing to only forgive a few. What a sad thing it would be if we didn’t believe that God forgives us, for as it says in Roman’s 3:23, we all fall short of the glory of God.

Recognize that every sin reveals that you have pushed Christ off the throne of your life, and crowned yourself as “lord.” Repentance is not just being sorry for the consequences of your sin; it is confessing and grieving over the cause of your sin, which has greatly offended God. Purpose to clear your conscience with those you have wronged and begin to cooperate with God in reconciliation of all damaged relationships. You may need to find forgiveness from your former spouse, and any others whose lives have been affected by this sin. Remember that the primary purpose in seeking forgiveness is not to restore your marriage, but to obey God and restore a right relationship with Him.

To whatever degree it is possible, rebuild broken relationships (Romans 12:18).

God is against remarriage unless the spouse is deceased. That is clear everywhere in the bible. However, it’s so important that you realize you have a Heavenly Father who loves you, go to Him, He knows your pain, and please remembers God forgives, the sin of divorce is not unforgivable. Should you remarry or date, there are no scriptures that say it is ok to do so. Are we human, yes, are we sinners, yes. Praise God that He adores us so much that he is willing to forgive when we fall short. To answer your question, God wants you to live a life for Him. Does that mean there can be any one else in your life, that’s a question you already know the answer. God forgives, as He gave us His Son to die on that cross and say, forgive them Father, for they know not what they do. He is such a wonderful and magnificent Loving kind Father to us all and when there is true repentance and contrition, there are great and tender mercies from above. I pray that you are able to experience these soon. Prayer is needed by you and on your behalf my friend. I thank God in the name of Jesus for lending you an ear, and for giving you direction in your life, I Thank God that He will show you His love and forgive you as you repent and ask for His undying love in your life. I thank God for healing in your life, in your mental and physical state. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!